Good news! The inner looper pooper, as one listener told me he's called, has been caught. He "was allegedly urinating on the exterior of a wall at the Fiesta Market on Quitman, near I-45".
Man, does this dude have nowhere else to do his business? Like... under a bush or something?
The most interesting thing from the story about him being nabbed by the cops is that one sergeant from the constable's office says he's seen this crime before. Repeatedly. THIS IS A THING PEOPLE DO.
UPDATE - And then.... the cops let him go. *sigh*