Get it, Jordan Catalano!

Photo: Getty Images

The Hollywood Reporter did an interview with the Girls Gone Wild creator, and this is absolutely the highlight.

"I have private jets, I have a great life, I'm a good-looking guy. I'm not conceited, but like — look, I have girls around me all the time, whatever I want. I make a lot of money. It's a great life. If I wasn't me, I'd f*cking hate me."

He's right about one thing... I'm not him, and I kind of hate him. He also went on a rant about the jury that just convicted him of false imprisonment (three counts), assault causing great bodily injury (one count), and dissuading a witness from reporting (one count).

"Just to convict people because you’re jealous of them is retarded. And you’re a retarded jury and you should be shot dead. You should. If they had the death penalty for juries, you should be shot. Dead. By a firing squad."

If you watch the video from the interview and think Gee, he sounds like he might be on something, that's because he was drunk. If he would have thrown out something about having Adonis blood or screamed WINNING, that really would have been the cherry on top.

Jes from The Militant Baker crafted the best response ever to the Abercrombie & Fitch CEO's epic douchebaggery ("That’s why we hire good-looking people in our stores. Because good-looking people attract other good-looking people, and we want to market to cool, good-looking people. We don’t market to anyone other than that.") She wrote a letter and did a series of photos. Check out portions of each below, and get the full letter and photo series at The Militant Baker:

Mike Jeffries
c/o Abercrombie & Fitch
Abercrombie & Fitch Campus
6301 Fitch Path
New Albany, Ohio 43054

Hey Mike,

I know you've been flooded with mail regarding your comments on sizeism, but I wanted to take a second to write you about a project I've been working on.

...

Never in our culture do we see sexy photo shoots that pair short, fat, unconventional models with not short, not fat, professional models. To put it in your words: "unpopular kids" with "cool kids". It's socially acceptable for same to be paired with same, but never are contrasting bodies positively mixed in the world of advertisement. The juxtaposition of uncommonly paired bodies is visually jarring, and, even though I wish it didn’t, it causes viewers to feel uncomfortable. This is largely attributed to companies like yours that perpetuate the thought that fat women are not beautiful. This is inaccurate, but if someone were to look through your infamous catalog, they wouldn't believe me.

I've enclosed some images for your consideration. Please let me know what you think.

...

Ever so sincerely, 
Jes

P.S. If you would like to offer me a "substantial amount" to stop wearing your brand so my association won't "cause significant damage to your image", don't hesitate to email me. I respect you as a business man, and my agent and I would be happy to contribute in furthering your established success.

P.P.S. You should know your Large t-shirt comfortably fits a size 22. You might want to work on that.

JFC, it is raining all over my face. *sniffle*

Here's a Facebook page set up to reunite lost people and pets:

Moore Oklahoma Tornado Lost and Found Animals